Mendacious
by Jowee
Summary: And it feels like this everytime. Nate&Serena and upcoming!Chuck&Blair.
1. Egregious

The first person she sees after their fight is Nate

The first person she sees after their fight is Nate.

He catches her arm, pulling gently, "What's wrong?"

And Serena breaks down. She tells him about her pain, her hurt over Dan and how she was tired. Tired of being the one that everyone blames.

Dan blamed her. Now Blair is blaming her, and Serena is just tired.

He takes her outside, holding her tightly to his side, and calls a car.

When they pull up to his house Nate takes her in, guides her through the house, into his room, and lays her on his bed. He throws her shoes somewhere, lays a blanket on her, and slips in next to her.

When Serena wakes the next morning she hears him on the phone. She can tell he is talking to Blair just by listening to his voice. She hears him say that he just felt bad for her, that he blamed her too.

And Serena knows she was stupid, stupid for believing that maybe this could have led to something. She feels her last shred of hope being torn into pieces.

So Serena grabs her bag, finds her shoes, and sneaks out the back.

Maybe this time, she thinks, she'll leave for good.


	2. Pertinacious

Erik finds her.

He finds her packing her bags, tears rolling down her face. She doesn't notice him, just continues to pack her clothes.

"Where are you going?" he asks, stomach sinking, dreading her answer.

"Erik, I—I'm going to visit Grandma. I'm going to be staying there for awhile." her voice barely above a whisper, he strains to hear her.

"You're leaving?"

"Erik, I'll just be a phone call away."

"No, Serena! You _promised_. You promised you'd be here for me. You said you would be a better sister, that you would _try_ for me." he's all but yelling now, furious at his sister.

And he sees the pain on her face, sees the pain he caused.

"What happened, S?" he asks.

And this time, she doesn't break down. She tells Erik everything, but he can tell that the tears are hiding just behind her eyes, that she's barely keeping it together.

* * *

He convinces her to stay.

And Serena feels that maybe, just maybe, that with her brother by her side, she could stand living in this city. That she could stand seeing Nate, Blair, and Dan everyday.

And when she feels just a little bit better, laying in her bed, just wanting to _sleep,_ the phone rings.

It's Nate.

And for a reason she doesn't understand, she answers.


	3. Fallacious

"Hello?"

"Serena?! Where did you go?" he questions, sounding rushed and worried.

And Serena wonders why he sounds so worried, why he sounds like he cares.

"Nate, I—I went home. I needed to get home, my mom was gonna worry." The lie slipping off her tongue like water.

"Can I come over?" he requests. When he says it like that, Serena can barely put up the effort to say no.

"I'm not sure that's a great idea, Nate. I think I'm gonna stay home with my mom and Erik." Her refusal sounds weak, even to her own ears.

"I'll be over in a minute."

He hangs up before she can say another word.

* * *

**Nate POV**

He arrives 10 minutes later.

He's sitting on the couch in the living room, right where the maid had sat him before she scurried off to get Serena, when she comes into the room.

She's wearing her pajamas, similar to Blair's, practically lingerie. She's covering up with a silk, pale blue robe, that brings out her eyes to the point that they are almost devastatingly blue.

And all this makes him question why he said those things to Blair, why he told her that he was on her side. Serena had always taken his side when there was a fight between him and Blair, and he should have been there for her.

Her eyes immediately scan the room and land on him. He feels over-dressed, but feels foolish for that thought, because if he had come in his pajamas that would have just been _awkward_.

"Nate, I told you I wanted to sta--"

"Did you hear me on the phone? Is that why you left?" he interrupts her, trying to make his point before she can make hers.

"Look Nate, it doesn't matter if I heard you or not. The point is that I _did _and that there is no reason for you to be here." He can tell she's angry, she's digging her nails into her palm, almost as if to keep her from just screaming.

"Serena, I was just saying those things, I didn't mean any of them!" he's pleading now, he can hear it in his voice.

"Then why would you say them! I know you Nate, you never just say something because it's what the person want to hear, because it's _Blair_. And I'm tired of this Nate, I'm **tired**." And her voice is cracking, fragile and sharp to his ears.

"I don't know what you want me to say! I don't know what I can say to make this better!"

"I just want you to tell me that you choose her, that she's the one you want, and then I want you to leave." Her voice is stronger now, and he's reminded that, even worn and broken, that she still has power, that she's Serena Van der Woodsen.

He doesn't respond quick enough, and she turns to leave the room.

"Serena! We've been best friends since we were in kindergarten—"

Her reaction is not what he expected.

"Leave."

"I'll come visit you tomorrow." He says, his voice sounding weak and tired.

"Don't."

"Don't be like that, I want to talk."

She looks away, and he knows what that means. It's her non-verbal way of saying, _We're done here._

She turns back around, and stalks up the stairs. Leaving him only with the _clack-clack _of her heels on the hard marble floor.

* * *

She's at school the next day.

She walks right past him, her Queen face perfectly in place.

Her eyes skim him, and he feels as if she's ripped his insides to shreds, with just one look.


	4. Abnegation

She gets the text at midnight.

_Spotted: __**N**__ saving __**Little J**__ from herself. Then giving her a happy ending._

She doesn't read the rest, just looks at the picture. And then she's slamming her phone closed, picking up her bag, and calling a cab.

* * *

**Nate POV**

He's just finished putting Jenny to bed, her face relaxing with a peaceful smile, and he needs to get some air. He slips on his shoes and grabs the bag he has hidden underneath the material of his suitcase, cracks open the door, and sneaks out.

Serena is sitting in the hall way, her black heels beside her. He notices that her toes are painted a shade of blue, one he always associated with his eyes, and he likes to think that she did it for him. But he knows better.

She doesn't seem to notice him, her head remaining down and a buckle on her leather jacket is reflecting where the moon hits it. Her hair is down, cascading down her shoulders, blonde curls contrasting against the black of her jacket and the purple of her shirt.

He's startled when she laughs.

"What are you laughing at?" he asks, confused by this sudden, sad laughter pouring from her lips.

"I'm laughing at the situation. I'm laughing at me, at you, at Jenny, at all of this!" she gestures wildly with her arms, moving them around her to represent 'all of this'.

"What are you doing here, S?" he questions her, and he can just hear the concern in his voice, even though he should feel anything but. She's been ignoring him for the past two weeks, barely looking, never acknowledging him.

"I came to show you this," And at that she opens her phone, presses a few buttons and passes it to him. "It's you and Jenny. Everyone knows by now, Nate. And if they don't, they definitely will tomorrow."

He knows that this isn't the reason she's here, if she wanted to show him this, she could have just sent him the text rather than come all the way down to Brooklyn.

"What are you _really _doing here? A text isn't enough for you to come to Brooklyn, at midnight."

Her face is too stoic, to _emotionless_, that he has an idea why she's here. He sits down beside her, the space between them feeling painful, and when he places his hand upon hers, she rips it away from him as if a rat had just touched it, her face displaying this same reaction. She puts her hand in her lap.

"Don't you touch me. Don't sit here and act like you care. Don't act like you're not choosing _Jenny_." At this point she's no longer whispering, she's practically hissing.

"I'm not choosing anyone."

"And maybe that's it, Nate. You won't choose. You'll keep jumping from Blair to me to Vanessa to Jenny, and maybe I'm going to make you choose, because I won't let you do this to us. I won't let you break us again, and again, and again."

"I- I won't choose, S."

"Or maybe you just won't choose _me_."

And he tries to touch her, just put his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugs it off, scooting away.

"**Serena.**"

"Go back inside Natie."

"Do you want me to call you a cab or a car?"

"No, I'm just going to sit here for a while."

So he gets up, goes back inside, changes into his pajamas and washes his face. He makes a glass of water, drinks it, and then looks out the door. She's still sitting there, in the exact spot he left her in, but her hair is covering her face, hiding her from him. And if she's crying he couldn't tell, none of her body moves, and for a minute he wonders if she turned into a beautiful statue but then he shakes his head and then walks to the couch.

She might sit there for an hour, maybe for the rest of the night, but he knows that, by morning, she'll be gone.

* * *

you know, reviews would be great :)


	5. Flashback: Valentines, 6th Grade

Flashback; 6th Grade.

* * *

He walks through the gardens, grabbing a flower here and a flower there, collecting wildflowers of every color.

It's Valentines Day.

He goes inside, grabbing a pair of scissors, finds yellow ribbon, and ties a bow around the stems. Yellow _is_ her favorite color.

* * *

His mother drops him off at her house, leaving him with $100 and his flowers.

He walks up to the door, palms sweating from nerves, and knocks.

She opens the door, wearing a yellow sundress and her blonde hair tied back in a white ribbon.

He's not sure what to say, so he just lets his lips do the talking.

"Happy Valentines!" He holds out the flowers and sees the surprised expression on her face, _everyone_ had thought he was going to ask _Blair_ to be his Valentine.

She takes a hold of the flowers, lifting the flowers to her face and inhaling the scent, a smile spreading across her face.

"You make a pretty awesome Valentine, Nate Archibald." She leans forward pressing her lips to Nate's cheek and Nate forgets how to breathe, just for a few seconds.

It's like this every time.


	6. Cotton Candy and Porcelain Dolls

She wakes up at the click of the door closing.

She looks glances around the room, noticing the wild flowers that sat in a vase on her bedside table.

They were all shades of yellow, her favorite color.

* * *

She's just finished dressing when there's a knock at her bedroom door.

She opens her door to find Nate standing there with a smile spread across his face, a bright yellow shirt catching in the light, and she catches herself before she smiles back. She's supposed to be mad at him.

"Hey, Serena." He says tentatively, as if he's unsure of whether or not he's welcome.

"Nate, what do you want?" She snarls, her teeth bared in a cruel imitation of a smile.

He looks down, surprised by how forwardly rude she was being, nothing like Blair or Jenny.

"I came to talk. _Aboutlastnight_." He's rushing his words, and she barely understands him.

"How about you just forget about it, never talk about it, how about you never even think about it. Okay? Because that was _humiliating_." Her cheeks are a shade redder than they were a minute ago, and he finds it ridiculously cute.

"No, It wasn't humiliating. I'm glad you came over. But I think we should talk."

And she straightens her stance, preparing for battle, and he practically hears the wheels turning in her head, planning what she's gonna say.

Her question comes from out of the blue.

"How long have you been here? Were you the one who got those flowers for me?" She questions, finally putting the pieces together, being taken over by a memory of wild flowers, yellow dresses, and a day spent walking through Central Park, eating cotton candy and drinking lemonade.

"Serena? Anyone in there?" He asks, waving his hand in front of her eyes.

She blinks, being brought back to reality, and re-establishes the situation in her mind.

"Nate, I think you should leave." And surprisingly he doesn't argue, just looks down, this sad expression clouding his face. He looks up, nods and turns to leave. When he's five steps away, he turns back around, going up to Serena and kissing her on the cheek.

And she almost forgets to breath, just for a second, confused by this familiar feeling, one she hasn't felt in _years_. And then she remembers it.

It still feels like that, all these years later.

He pulls back, turns around, and walks out of her room.

* * *

When she finally steps out of her room, half an hour later, she finds cotton candy and lemonade waiting for her in the dining room.

She leans against the wall, tears rolling down her cheeks, and she just wants him _back_.

She slides down the wall, memories overflowing, and she lets all the tears fall.

* * *

She's still sitting on the floor when Chuck walks in.

He picks her up and carries her to her room, gently laying her on her bed.

When Nate calls, he ignores his phone.

After all, Nate Archibald is the only one who's ever truly broken Serena van der Woodsen, so he knows he has something to with this.

He places his phone in his pocket, and sneaks out of the room.

He barely notices the flowers on the table but he remembers that day, 6 years ago, Nate asking him what he should get for his Valentine, and he replied get her something that reminds you of her. The only thing Nate said before he hung up was "Wild flowers."

He later told Chuck that he chose wild flowers because they were beautiful and free.

Chuck got his valentine a porcelain doll, fragile and beautiful, with bright red lips and silken black hair.


End file.
